My Journal - Nov. 1994 - One Year!

November 1994 – One Year

I have lots of little projects going on, my Thai is ok – not great but, I can communicate. They say the second year goes by pretty fast and I hope that is true, I am ready to get on with my life. Doing something, even as important as joining the Peace Corps, in a certain time frame is self-limiting. I feel like I am on hold.

I am also a little bit scared of finishing, because I will never be the same and I won’t be able to go back to the Tracy I was, she is gone. But the replacement is better. I have made many lifelong friends, Thai and other PCV’s. I cherish the fact that I have been accepted into this group, a very special bunch of people.

My goals coming here were to live in another culture, learn another language, and do something worthwhile.  I have accomplished all three, I have a deep love for the Thai people and this country, if speaking Thai ever makes a difference in my future, I am ready. I also feel that being a part of the Peace Corps is very worthwhile. I have nothing to offer Thailand but myself. There is no skill I possess that the Thai people do not already have and use. But I have been a good example of an American. Thai people are easy to like, easy to show my best side.

That is what I need to keep remembering every day, to be on my best behavior, mind my p’s & q’s, which incidentally means “please and thankyous”, and radiate the love I feel in my heart. Not just here, but always wherever I choose to live.

Throughout the entire first year, I never considered quitting or going home, I am proud of myself for accepting and adjusting well. Besides my insecurity would have made me believe I was doing it wrong and needed to be a Volunteer differently, I would spend two years here trying different ways to be a better PCV. But I never quit. I think very highly of my new family, that did have a tough time adjusting and problems, but who also did not quit, did not give up.

Living here has certainly broadened my horizons and opened up lots of new possibilities for my future. A good experience I would say, a good experience.

“Take only pictures, leave only foot prints” sign in a National Park.

“No one of them alone will change the course of history, but the world is a different place because they serve for they have brought skills to the unskilled friendship to the friendless, hope to the hopeless.” I think that was Tolstoy…

“The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings”. Masanobu Fukuoka – One Straw Revolution